What does she want from me?!

Today,is the last day of my sch holidays. =( I cant wake up at 1 plus anymore.I went all the way to Maxwell just to see a chinese doc and the bill came up to $76.Like WTF!! I had an egg tart there,and boy...It was DELICIOUS!(nt really a fan of egg tarts) After what seemed like hrs of waiting for my chi prescription med,I finally went back to the car to head to Elaine's for my massage. =) Wanted a relaxing massage before Im back in the sch of horrors.

But before the day started I received a text from Mitch.She texted me this "sch start tml right?Happy 1st of sch." I was actually both kinda shocked and happy that she texted me.But just why did she do that when Im trying to get over her?Does she always want me to miss her that bad?!!I miss her SOO bad.*sigh* I dont really blog,but I figured that if I dont pen my feelings down.I will really go nuts this time round.My first love cruelly left me,and I can safely say that I dont hve the confidence to love another individual as much as her again.I begin to doubt my sexual orientation.Just...what is it?Am I straight,or am I bi?Im still scared on seeing her.I love her,and I dunno if she wants me back together with her.Whether I can pull myself back to accept her again.It is painful but I still really love her.FML for being so pathetic..What should I do

Trying to start a new life

It has been 5 days since we split and I haven spoken to her since.I feel really empty and wonder,did our 4 months worth of relationship just come to naught.Am i that insignificant in her life?Why do I miss her so bad while she doesnt even bother about me.She seems to be enjoying life with her gf now.Did I make a big mistake to start this whole thing in the first place?I think I urgently need help.Everyday my mind is consume with thoughts of her,I wanna forget this whole painful experience but I just cant.Even though I know how much it hurts,I will still think and look at pictures pertaining to her and jolt my memory of her all over and over again!!!!!
Why do I enjoy reopening my own wounds when it so badly hurts! ='( Its a fact how some people can be so heartless and just stab your heart the way they do without unthinkable consequences.I just wish she would remember me,but I never wanna see the 2 of them together cuz it hurts so much just witnessing that.I try to constantly distract myself so that thoughts of her wont engulf me so much that I fall into depression.HAIS!!! FML!!! I dunno what's the meaning of living
anyway.To bear pain and the hurt someone ever caused you?

Gonna see a chinese doctor tmr!! Always so troublesome cause of my giddyspells and everything.SIAN..!>.<